Don't Leave Me
by CathGilLove
Summary: Catherine almost loses Gil.


Catherine's POV

1/1

I can't take this anymore! The bastard is lying there, not moving, not waking up, not emitting any signs that he's still with me except the steady rhythm of the heart monitor.

I'm selfish and I'll admit to it. But I hate him for doing this to me! The knife wielding suspect came out of nowhere and being the typical man that he is, he pushed me out of the way and took the blade in his chest.

And now he's lying there, eyes closed, with nothing but the beeps of the heart monitor to tell me he's still here.

_I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone_

Son of a bitch doctors tried to give me a sedative, but I wouldn't let them. I fought and kicked and scratched against Warrick's arms as they tried to persuade me. I know that he, Nick and Sara are standing outside in the waiting room. They think I'm unhinged and that I'm going to fall down sobbing, like I did at the crime scene. But I'm not upset. I'm pissed off.

_These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time can not erase_

The criminal might as well have stabbed me. I have the most awful pain ripping through my body. I feel like someone has stuck their hands inside and is trying to pull my internal organs out, starting with my heart.

And still the bastard lies there, eyes closed.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me_

And he would pick now, for this to happen, wouldn't he? For god's sakes, last night was the first night that we made love together. We were all each other wanted and now he's lying there, sleeping as if he's had a hard night of rough sex.

"I hate you, Gil!" I cry at him angrily. "You bastard wake up! Don't you dare die on me and leave me alone! I need you, you sonofabitch!"

_You used to captivate me by your resonating mind  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me_

I can feel Warrick and Nick trying to pull me away from the bed, but I fight them with everything I have in me. Sara is standing outside, looking shocked and scared.

"Let me go!" I scream at them, breaking free. I move back towards the bed, my hands on Gil's shoulders.

"Wake up damn you! I won't let you get this far and then leave me!"

_These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time can not erase_

I feel the pin prick in my arm and I cry out in pain and anger. My body slides to the floor beside his bed, sobbing quietly. The rest of the group make no attempt to take me away, to move me away from him. I haul myself into the closest chair and drag it to his bed, sitting beside him.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me_

"After all we've been through together, don't you get it?" I sob quietly, my head laying next to his. "I can't live without you Gil! I don't want to learn or to try! It's supposed to be you and me against the world, remember? You promised me dammit! Don't break your promise!"

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along_

A part of me begins to wish he'd just let go, stop torturing me. God, how I love him but I can't take this. This long, drawn-out will he or won't he game is torturing me and tearing me apart.

My eyes are drooping now and I turn to look at the traitors who forced this sedative on me. Sara is clinging to Nick and Greg, Warrick and Jim stand stoically beside them.

They don't understand. They never will understand. They can't begin to understand. I don't think Gil and I even understood.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears  
I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me_

I can't fight the sedative anymore. It's assaulted my body and try as I might, I can't win. I heave myself onto the bed next to him, snuggling close.

"I love you, Gil," I whisper in his ear, before resting my head beside his. "Don't leave me."

The last thing I hear before I fall into a heavy sleep, is the strong, steady beep of the heart monitor.

FINIS


End file.
